batreaux:

you walk over to the chamber of secrets and whisper “i have a crush on my cousin”. the basilisk comes over to you and says “you totally misinterpreted the use of this chamber and also you’re pretty fuckin gross”

timecurry:

hellohelbig:

justindonuts:

lets-get-krunk:

"I really don’t want to shower but I want to be clean" an autobiography

"Now that I’m in the shower I really dont wanna get out" a sequel

"Now that I’m out, I don’t want to put on clothes" the spin-off

"I’m sitting here in my towel and I must have showered 2 hours ago" the self help booklet